Her catwalk is the sidewalk.
Her catwalk is the sidewalk.

Category — Quelle Horreur!

Jean Machine

Need a little last-minute holiday gift inspiration? This vintage ad reminds us that “Designer Denim jackets are not only for women and children. Men and teenage boys like to be fashionable, too!”

All you need is a jean jacket, your glue gun & glitter ~ throw in some designer metallic paint and craft chain for good measure ~ and your holiday shopping is complete! This is guaranteed to be the gift that keeps on giving. Doesn’t this teen look positively thrilled to be wearing his fancy bedazzled denim jacket? Lay down the boogie, and play that funky music.


December 20, 2012   No Comments

Le Smoking?

Dear Marc Jacobs: I would rather watch Taylor Swift feign shock & surprise again like she did last night at the Grammys when the audience applauded for her (Yes, Taylor, they clapped! For you! After performing at an awards show! Quel surprise!)…

…than wear your flipping crazy fall designs that you sent down the runway today. I suppose there really is no polite way to say this, so pardonnez-moi, but were you smoking crack when you designed this collection? Has the real MJ been kidnapped? Darlings, I’ll let you be the judge…

Now if the look you were going for was “polyester pilgrim pimp” ~ my apologies again ~ you nailed it!

February 13, 2012   1 Comment

Can’t Touch This

Drop-crotch jeans. Even the name is cringe-worthy.

What made retailers like Oak NYC buy these bizarre britches?

That’s hot…not.

Good news ~ looks like the droopy denim is on its way out, not that it was ever “in”.  Oak has since slashed prices in half, most likely in an effort to purge the surplus in storehouses right now.

Until then, Hammertime.

January 31, 2012   No Comments

Golden Globes: Pajama Party Picks

I wore lilac leopard pj’s, a pastel robe by Hello Kitty, Tory Burch slippers, and a sparkly pink tiara for the Golden Globes this year ~ the perfect dress code when the red carpet is your living room and the guest list is your glam girlfriends! Rating the fashion is hard work, but we are professionals. We accessorized with fuzzy slippers, plenty of prosecco, cupcakes, and other tasty treats.

Trends and highlights of the awards in a nutshell: champagne beige, peacock blue, lavender and blush gowns. Fishtail hemlines, feminine & chic chignons, dazzling & sparkly chandeliers on A-list ears. Ricky’s screentime downsized to match his new waistline. Awkward speech by Meryl Streep, while Madonna’s faux British accent put us to sleep. Duet by presenters William H. Macy and Felicity was a charm. George’s speech and his walking on stage with Brad’s cane was a kick, but Brangie’s movies weren’t picked. The forced smile was soon erased from Angie’s gorgeous but smug face.

My Fave Five

Nicole Richie ~ love Nicole and her high Bardot ponytail and glam-casual shimmery silver Julien Macdonald gown and House of Harlow clutch.

Kate Beckinsale ~ always gorgeous, in a blush beaded Roberto Cavalli dress, with Lorraine Schwartz sparklers.

Jessica Alba ~ glowing in a lavender Gucci gown, Bulgari baubles, and Roger Vivier clutch.

Heidi Klum ~ rocks her beige Calvin Klein gown with tangles of turquoise from Lorraine Schwartz.

Charlize Theron ~ exudes effortless elegance and sparkles in Dior Couture and Cartier jewels & headband.

Loved these looks as well! Reese, Paula, Elle, Sophia, Stacy = class acts.

My absolute least favorites…

Lea Michele ~ a “miss” in Marchesa.

Sarah Michelle Gellar ~ Oh, Buffy. Why?

Honorable Mention ~ David Bowie in Haider Ackerman. Nobody told us he was going to be at the Golden Globes!

January 15, 2012   No Comments

Come On, Eileen

Come on, Eileen — I mean Katie — pay for a stylist for you and your kooky little red lipstick-wearing daughter.

“I’m happy that my daughter is strong-willed and determined. You really have to go with what the child is wanting.” ~Katie Holmes


October 4, 2011   No Comments