Lately, a trend-gone-wrong that has stopped me in my click-clacks – and, if I weren’t a lady, would leave my jaw hanging – is the shirtdress. It may as well be renamed the “dress-shirt” – as in, dress that shirt up with some pants, please!

When you get it right, a simple, clean-cut shirtdress is a chic staple every girl should own. My pretty picks: Ralph’s timeless number in rich buttery biscuit and Shoshanna’s prim perfection in geranium.

The cherry on top? Pockets! Frocks with pockets make me smile & want to toss my Burberry hat in the air à la Mary Tyler Moore.

A shirtdress is also the perfect answer to that daily nagging question, “What on earth will I wear today?” as you stand in a closet stuffed with clothes and shoes. Girl, you know it’s true.

Buyer beware:  there’s a sea of wannabe shirtdresses out there just waiting for you to slip-up, so a discerning eye is critical. Don’t be fooled by cheaper fabrics that are ill-fitting and cause those unsightly in-between-button pulls. If the fabric looks and feels cheap, it probably is!

A hint that a dress is well made? You guessed it: frock pockets. Just knowing they exist makes me feel 110% sassier.

The tip du jour?  The shirtdress is a dress styled with the details of a shirt. Not a shirt to be worn as a dress. So if it looks like you’re channeling Tom Cruise à la Risky Business - call me a relic, call me what you will, say I’m old-fashioned, say I’m over the hill – you should probably put some pants on.

So knowing the style stakes are so high, it’s always surprising to me that some actresses can still manage to get it wrong. Of course there’s a few who get it right. These are the Oscars! I expect to be shown something pretty that wows me!  Here’s some highlights from 2010:

Demi Moore – I adored her feminine, perfectly draped, peach ruffle-tiered Versace. She gets my best-dressed vote! The only thing missing? Her perfect accessory-of-a-husband.

Sarah Jessica Parker – I loved her pale yellow, metallic rosette-encrusted Chanel gown. Along with her piled-high hair, it reminded me of something Holly Golightly would wear.

Rachel McAdams – was feminine and pretty in a refreshing watercolor Elie Saab frock in blue, green and pink.

Sigourney Weaver – always a lady, in beautiful crimson Lanvin.

Sandra Bullock – Her liquid silvery-gold embroidered Marchesa gown was elegant. Her hair and makeup with a bright fuschia lip was pretty, but the dress somehow washed out her usually glowing complexion.

Zoe Saldana –  Zoe’s Givenchy gown with a champagne beaded bodice that grew into an ombré explosion of shades of purple will no doubt receive mixed reviews, but she makes anything look prettier just by putting it on.

Vera Farmiga – usually I love ruffles but the tiered pinkberry Marchesa gown overwhelmed the pretty actress.

J Lo – always looks gorgeous with glowing skin and hair, but her Armani Prive pale pink silk organza gown was reminiscent of Kate Hudson’s Marchesa gown from the Golden Globes, but with a train coming out of her hip.

Penelope Cruz – always beautiful, but the Donna Karan strapless dress with ruched pleats wasn’t cutting it for me. The cranberry color blended with the red carpet and was a wintry choice for an award show that is typically a harbinger of spring fashion.

Kate Winslet – hair & makeup looked  pretty and the rest is a blah metallic 2-piece blur.

Miley – I couldn’t get beyond the posture. Shoulders back, Miley! Apparently her Jennie Packham gown didn’t come with instructions on proper carriage.

Suzy Amis – your husband is the self-professed King of the World and almost as rich – so why do you look like a disheveled grandma, at half his age? You do get points for your sustainable fashion, though.

Overall this year, there were only a few looks that truly wowed me. What did you think, lovelies?

Photo credits: Getty Images and Just Jarred

No wonder the girl above looks so annoyed – she has buyer’s remorse. Her dress doesn’t even fit well. What drives a girl to purchase this? And what is running through her mind when she wears it for the first time? I’m guessing something along the lines of, “Oh look at me! I’m wearing a dress that is one color on top, and a different color on the bottom! But wait, it gets better! There is also a third band of (insert any color) at the waist – how clever! I’m such a fashion risk-taker!”

Celebs aren’t exempt. Even with Kelly’s belt and Miley’s beads it’s still just a boring, cookie-cutter dress.

This look bored me to tears the first time I saw it, and it will continue to, until the trend dies. It’s not that the dress is necessarily hideous – I’m sure a girl could look cute wearing it (I’ll concede “cute” to Miley above) – but what’s unique, fun, or fashion forward about it? Crickets chirping…

Some attempts have been made to seasonally update it – with cap sleeves, short sleeves, even ¾ and long sleeves – but really, what’s the difference? Same snoozefest, different sleeves.

Maybe I’m in the minority here and I’m sorry if you have one hanging in your closet (and if you do, feel free to let me know what makes it so fab) – but as Tim Gunn would say, I’m just not “wowed”.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….. wake me up when this excuse of a trend has run its course…

Enough said.

A)   Nothing, just forget the undergarments altogether!

B)   A skin-toned thong or boyshorts

C)   Saggy granny panties

If you answered A (really??) – I can’t help you, Britney.  If you answered B, you get an A+.  If you answered C, well…did you take the metro to the Pentagon City mall yesterday about 7:30pm? You were in front of me on the “up” escalator, so I couldn’t have ignored you if I tried — and believe me I tried.

I can’t imagine what possessed you to put on the baggy granny panties underneath such a white, form-fitting skirt – perhaps you hadn’t done laundry in a while? Although I’m afraid that is not the case.

I can’t believe I even have to post this, but if you’re going to wear white, you wear skin-colored lingerie. You want to match the color as closely as you can to your own skin tone. It’s that simple. Also, the tighter the clothing, the more imperative it is that the undergarment fits well, because if  it’s too tight (or too loose, in this case) it will cause those unsightly lines.

Hanky Panky has some great thongs and boyshorts, especially the low-rider style. Victoria’s Secret also carries several “no show” styles that will nicely do the trick.

If you already knew this, pat yourself on the back, you get a gold star.

Ok, I understand the 4-inch heels if you work in Manhattan. Those girls have suffering for fashion down to a science. Unfortunately that just doesn’t work for this Medestrian.

Is it really worth it to trip on the escalator or face-plant on the platform?  As someone who has done both, believe me when I say it ain’t pretty.

I’m merely suggesting you be fashionably responsible. Of course I still enjoy wearing heels, just not en route to the office. I’m not advocating wearing sneakers to work, either. A cute pair of flats will do. Just wait until you get to the office to slip into those lofty Louboutins.

To make matters worse,  the tote bag on her shoulder was pulling the fabric forward so that the pleat was not falling correctly.  Instead of a smooth inverted “V”, it was puckering on either side to form an unfortunate (and unflattering) “O” shape.

I couldn’t form the words quickly enough — I wanted to call out to her  “The stitching!!! You forgot to remove the STITCHING!!!”  — but the bells were chiming for the doors to close and she was gone. Just like that.

Ladies, please let this be a lesson. Inspect your new purchases and remove all tags and stitching before wearing.  Take a quick glance in the mirror before heading out the door – both front and back views.

I feel that I’ve failed you, Trench Girl.  You were thisclose to a fab outfit.  If only you stayed on the train for just one more stop…

Pull it together, sister, spring is here.

What to wear…what to wear? It’s a tricky wardrobe transition to toss the winter bulk for the lightness of spring, but don’t give up in frustration and commit a triple faux pas.

I struggled myself Saturday morning, wanting to bare my legs in a black cotton  sundress, yet being vain enough that I wasn’t quite ready to flaunt my pasty stems. So I added a pair of capri-length leggings, slipped into my comfy Tory Burch flip-flops, and was out the door.

I arrived on M Street, feeling instantly envious of all the girls in their breezy sundresses and tanned, bared legs. I wished I had ditched the leggings, but accepted my fashion misstep. I made a mental note to apply self-tanner at the next possible opportunity, and proceeded to enjoy the afternoon.

The moral of this musing?  No matter how you slice it, life is too short for bad outfits.