Posts from — May 2009

You wake up one morning and as you’re looking in your closet, trying to plan which cute outfit you will wear, it hits you.  You decide, “Today I’m going to wear a white cotton pencil skirt.”  Before slipping into the skirt, do you first put on:

A)   Nothing, just forget the undergarments altogether!

B)   A skin-toned thong or boyshorts

C)   Saggy granny panties

If you answered A (really??) – I can’t help you, Britney.  If you answered B, you get an A+.  If you answered C, well…did you take the metro to the Pentagon City mall yesterday about 7:30pm? You were in front of me on the “up” escalator, so I couldn’t have ignored you if I tried — and believe me I tried.

I can’t imagine what possessed you to put on the baggy granny panties underneath such a white, form-fitting skirt – perhaps you hadn’t done laundry in a while? Although I’m afraid that is not the case.

I can’t believe I even have to post this, but if you’re going to wear white, you wear skin-colored lingerie. You want to match the color as closely as you can to your own skin tone. It’s that simple. Also, the tighter the clothing, the more imperative it is that the undergarment fits well, because if  it’s too tight (or too loose, in this case) it will cause those unsightly lines.

Hanky Panky has some great thongs and boyshorts, especially the low-rider style. Victoria’s Secret also carries several “no show” styles that will nicely do the trick.

If you already knew this, pat yourself on the back, you get a gold star.

At the Pentagon City station this a.m., I cringed as I saw a girl hurry past me, then teeter down the escalator in her stilettos to catch her train. At one point it appeared that one of her heels got stuck in the grooves but she somehow yanked it out –  and not very gracefully I might add.

Ok, I understand the 4-inch heels if you work in Manhattan. Those girls have suffering for fashion down to a science. Unfortunately that just doesn’t work for this Medestrian.

Is it really worth it to trip on the escalator or face-plant on the platform?  As someone who has done both, believe me when I say it ain’t pretty.

I’m merely suggesting you be fashionably responsible. Of course I still enjoy wearing heels, just not en route to the office. I’m not advocating wearing sneakers to work, either. A cute pair of flats will do. Just wait until you get to the office to slip into those lofty Louboutins.